First comes love, then comes marriage — or at least that’s how the saying used to go. It’s a known fact that my lovey and I are not married. We are happily engaged and have been for almost a year now. We did things the unconventional way. A, dare I say, ‘trend’ among generation X’ers. We’d like to believe that we’re a ‘hip’ urban family. Although… Strangely enough, I can’t help but feel slightly embarrassed when introducing the love of my life as my boyfriend or fiance. It only seems fitting that I call him my husband given that we’ve already made and established a family complete with a bouncing baby boy and an adorable little girl. Have we really earned that title though? No papers were signed and no public display was made to establish our union, but I can’t help but think we already deserve to be in the “married” category. Our devotion to one another is paramount and the love that we have for our family is even stronger.
“People don’t question, ‘Why did you get married?’ They only ask you, ‘Why haven’t you gotten married?’ ” points out Marion Willetts, an associate professor of sociology at Illinois State University. “I think a lot of people feel if you were really serious about your partner and your relationship, then you’d get married.” But from what Willetts has found with the life partners she’s spoken to, that is simply not true. “They’re in this for the long haul,” she says. “This isn’t just some convenient thing or trial marriage. They’re just as committed to their relationship as married people.” So please don’t think of us, or couples like us as wrong or taboo. The choice that we’ve made to “rearrange” the order of things doesn’t make us less of a family.. it simply makes us a different kind of family. And as far as our children are concerned – How many kids can actually say that they participated in their Mommy and Daddy’s wedding? 🙂